Where do you seek the soul of Cape Cod? The pounding surf on the Outer Cape? The stalwart beacon of Coast Guard Light? The broad stretch of the Great Marsh?
I play mini golf. Oh, I can hear the groans and protestations already. What kind of craziness is this? The spirit of Cape Cod is in the restless wave, the majesty of the osprey, the beauty of a bayside sunset. It's certainly not in the pretend astroturf world of— good grief — putt-putt golf.
But oh contraire, for me the soul of Cape Cod is the concept of family vacation and one of the Cape's charms is its appeal to all levels of vacationers, whether they are lounging at their deck overlooking the Chatham inlet or sharing two queen beds in a motel room and mini golf is where we all meet.
Big families, small families, all shapes and colors and languages and ages. I've even seen pirate families or at least families dressed as pirates.
The mini golf course is a true snapshot of our grand Republic and Cape Cod is a mini golfers haven. Really I don't understand why the Chamber of Commerce doesn't promote it more.
I've played many golf all over the Cape from a slightly overgrown backyard course behind the now defunct Rose’s restaurant in Dennis, to the fancy schmancy franchises on Route 28.
You can play someplace Instagram-worthy with a pirate ship or at a course that's pure vintage, like the one at the Wellfleet Drive-In. The names hint at the exotic: Skull Island, Putters Paradise, Holiday Hill, Wild Animal Lagoon. Or my favorite, Susan's Garden.
And often you can grab a soft serve right on the side. Can you do that at your Country Club? You can count on some consistencies among courses, such as an impossible right angled dog leg that requires billiard table strategies, or a shoot that has more moguls than a ski hill, or a cup with a surrounding ridge making it impossible to sink the putt. The 18th hole will always swallow your ball. There will be a water hazard usually with very questionable water. At Sandwich mini golf on route 6A there are Bible verses. If you're lucky there will be a windmill, or a scary mannequin, or a giraffe.
You don't even need to know how to play golf. You don't need to buy equipment. All you have to remember is the color of your ball, a happy idea that regular courses should adopt, and put up with a putter that's sure to be too heavy or too short and you will need patience.
You will wait on every hole. There are some rules. Six tries, that's all you get unless you’re say, under the age of eight, then you get to try until your parents or the people behind you scream, “enough!” No crying, even if your sister purposely sends your ball flying out of bounds. No swearing, unless it's under your breath. Being a competitive player I understand that's difficult, but seriously if you're swearing at mini golf you need to go find a beach instead.
Look I love so many natural things about Cape Cod, the wide flats of Cape Cod Bay, the twisty boardwalk at Marconi, the sweep of the dunes in Provincetown, even the drama of nor’easters, but I'm a sucker for the other side of summer vacation. Tacky t-shirts, ice cream, and mini golf, and that's why on some warm summer night in August as the moon rises over South Yarmouth you'll find me centered in the soul of Cape Cod on the 7th hole of Pirates Cove trying very hard not to get thumped by an 8 year old.
