© 2024
Local NPR for the Cape, Coast & Islands 90.1 91.1 94.3
Play Live Radio
Next Up:
0:00
0:00
0:00 0:00
Available On Air Stations
A Cape Cod Notebook can be heard every Tuesday morning at 8:45am and afternoon at 5:45pm.It's commentary on the unique people, wildlife, and environment of our coastal region.A Cape Cod Notebook commentators include:Robert Finch, a nature writer living in Wellfleet who created, 'A Cape Cod Notebook.' It won the 2006 New England Edward R. Murrow Award for Best Radio Writing.

Pull Up a Chair: Savoring an Interlude of Well-Seasoned Bonhomie

Luis Urquiza / flickr

A few weeks ago, on my way to chorale rehearsal, I decided to stop for a bowl of chowder at a restaurant on Rt. 28. The chowder was forgettable, but the bar was obviously a local hangout for men and women of retirement age. There were perhaps a dozen or so “regulars” there, mostly in their 70s and 80s, with a couple of younger wives in their 50s and 60s. The men all wore suits and the women dresses.

What struck me at first was their congeniality and sense of community. There was the usual banter and good-natured insulting going on among the men, and obviously a lot of inside jokes, the kind of shorthand references that people use when they’ve know each other for a long time. But there was also a genuine solicitation and concern for the older members of the group. One gentleman in his 80s, who seemed quite frail, held a full martini glass in front of him. He explained that it was water, that he was only allowed one drink per day now. They all laughed. One of the men offered to drive him home, but he declined. His friends then suggested that he call them when he got home, and the bartender – a woman in her 50s - handed him a card with the restaurant’s name and phone number on it. “In case you need it,” she said. Others talked about arranging pickups and drop-offs for some of the other members.

There was nothing condescending about this, as younger people tend to be toward the elderly.  Rather, it came across as a group, or informal club, taking care of its older members. They knew that they themselves were not just part of the group, but part of the process of aging, too, and that one day, in the not-too-distant future, they, too, might need to be taken cared for.

Their accents, almost without exception, bespoke urban blue collar origins of Greater Boston. If I knew my local dialects better, I could probably have placed most of them in specific neighborhoods: Chelsea, North Cambridge, Southie, Charlestown, Dorchester… But it was not just a shared geographical background, or even a socio-economic one that most strongly identified them. It was, I realized, that they shared a distinct temporal-cultural background. That is, they had all come of age after World War II, a time of economic prosperity and growth, job security, union strength, and guaranteed pensions that had enabled these working class men and women to retire to one of the Cape’s most expensive towns. It seemed to me that they were still somewhat surprised at their good fortune. They seemed to represent a modest but genuine realization of “The American Dream,” one, I realized, we are not likely to see again.

The name of the bar and the town it was in both suggested an upscale culture, but the atmosphere, the accents, and the easy geniality all reflected unaffected comradeship. It was pleasant just to sit there for a while and vicariously soak up their well-seasoned bonhomie.

Robert Finch is a nature writer living in Wellfleet. 'A Cape Cod Notebook' won the 2006 New England Edward R. Murrow Award for Best Radio Writing.