Big Brothers Big Sisters of Cape Cod and the Islands matches volunteer mentors with youth who could use some extra support.
But without enough volunteers—especially men and Spanish-speakers—some kids get stuck on the waitlist.
That's according to JR Mell, regional director of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Cape Cod and the Islands. CAI's Gilda Geist spoke with JR recently to learn more.
Gilda Geist You folks made a comeback in 2024 on Nantucket after a hiatus of sorts. Can you tell me more about that?
JR Mell Yeah, so we had closed services on the island because another mentoring group had formed. There was no sense in competing, and so we kind of took a break and allowed them to do their own thing. That group closed service in 2018. We were in talks to come back. The pandemic hit. That kind of upended things. Post pandemic, we started to receive a significant amount of calls from schools [and] individual providers who work with youth, [saying] that there was just such a gap in services for kids as it relates to connections with adults outside of their family. Nantucket's youth population has grown by almost 10 percent in the last seven years. So we set about researching a little bit behind the scenes, how could we effectively implement a mentoring initiative on Nantucket? And I'm excited to say we did put together a plan that launched in 2024 and currently have impacted over 64 kids on Nantucket.
GG I understand you folks are looking for more people to become big brothers and big sisters, right?
JM Across our entire service territory, which is Cape Cod, both islands, Wareham and Plymouth, there's a need for mentors. If you look primarily on Nantucket right now, there is an urgent need for male volunteers. We have five boys who are waiting. Boys tend to be referred to us at a rate four times greater than girls are. On the other side of that equation, when you look at our volunteer recruitment, women tend to be much more likely to sign up. Several years ago, we took a step back and said, we have so many female volunteers who sign up. Is there an opportunity for us to match women who want to mentor with a child, regardless of that child's gender? And so we went back to our families and said, look, if you'd like this, we do have mentors available. They may not be the same gender or gender identity as your child, but we'd be happy to serve your kid. Unfortunately, we've only had four families take us up on that in seven years. So we're doubling down on that need for male volunteers in our program.
GG I understand you have been a big brother. What's your experience with that?
JM I had moved back to the Cape post-college and someone had just talked to me about this need for male volunteers. And I was in my 20s. I wasn't really doing a lot. I'm like, what the heck is a kid going to learn from me? And that person kept talking to me about the need, the need, the need, and so finally I signed up. The staff at Big Brothers Big Sisters is phenomenal. They coach you through every step of the way. And I remember with my second little, Josh, they gave me a little sheet on him of his likes, his interests. The thing that still sticks out to me the most was he wanted someone to take him fishing, if he could have anything in the world. And I was like, I fish every single weekend in the summer, so I think this will work out. So, they ask you for a one year commitment. I was kind of a little bit nervous that first time, and I just remember picking up for his first day to go fishing and he was actually so excited he was just bouncing on the ride there. So we fished for about a year. And then they call you and they say, "Hey, your year's up. You want to keep doing this?" And I, at that time just went, "I can't imagine I'm not doing it." We built this friendship, he knew he could talk to me about stuff that was challenging either in life or at school and I was just a listening ear. I'd give advice, I'd talk to him about his future. We talked about the tech school. That conversation and him touring the tech school got him into what his future career is now as a marine mechanic. And we stayed connected formally through the program all the way until he was 18. To this day, he's 24. He still lives here in Falmouth and I'm still in touch with him.
GG What kind of benefit does having a mentor bring to a child who might need some extra help?
JM There comes a point in the time, depending on how long that kid is matched, where they start to realize like, yeah, this is fun, but this person's there for me, for honestly no other reason than to be there and be a support and have a good time with me. And then when you get to those teenage and identity years where they're starting to figure out who they are, they have this trusted adult that hopefully they've built that friendship with, where they are able to talk to them. We do this thing where we ask our matches to reflect on how many years they were together, and we asked both the big and little, "What was your favorite experience?" And the thing that's so interesting to me, and we hear it time and time again, was the big always thought their best experiences when they did this really cool outing. I remember taking Josh to Water Whiz one time. It was our huge thing we did after years of being matched. But Josh's favorite outing was when he was really young and we'd go to Dairy Queen in Falmouth and pick out boats neither of us could afford and make up stories about them. It's those simple everyday things that are most impactful.
